Member-only story
The ABCD of X
You don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone
Wait, you didn’t know? Sorry about the spoiler, dude. It’s all over the news. But how are you reading this article? I didn’t know you got internet under that rock.
Ok, yes, the bird is dead.
Musk is flipping the bird to brand value and the million different things that most CEOs are expected to focus on everyday to extract value from his other priceless asset — x.com.
I know because I asked GoDaddy to appraise it.
Why?
Rebrands happen for a myriad reasons. Here are four reasons I could fathom with my puny mind.
1. Autocomplete Anarchy
This is the most probable reason.
Let’s be honest. Musk looks like the kind of guy who watches a lot of porno.
I mean, look at the evidence. He’s got a breeding fetish. He accused people trying to rescue kids stuck in an underwater cave of grooming and pedophilia. And have you seen that body?
It screams “avid porno watcher”.
Musk wants X.com to become a thing because his browser now autocompletes X to xvideos.
Don’t pretend you don’t know what xvideos is!
2. Blackhole Badshah
Musk is a space nerd. He knows all about it. Like Mars and blackholes.
Of later, Twitter has been collapsing on itself, much like the aforementioned blackholes.
Maybe rebranding to X is a subtle nod to this collapse — a storied brand with a seven letter name collapsing into a singularity of shit represented by one letter.
Maybe we never saw it until now that Musk is actually a poet of brevity. Even his name — 8 letters long in total — a short, snubnose symbol of collapsed stardom.
