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Running sucks
How to lose all leverage but no weight through running
Dear reader, just in case the title was not obvious enough, running — the sort you find people doing out on the streets for hours — sucks beyond redemption.
Under no circumstances should you, my dear reader, take up running…it may give you health benefits but cost you in lost leverage with your significant other.
Let me explain.
About a year ago, I decided to take up running.
The decision made, a glance at my one shelf of the shoe closet made it clear that I didn’t have the right footwear for it.
Off I went to the store to buy running shoes. Within seconds of crossing the threshold of the store, a sales guy, working on commission no doubt, latched on to me.
“Sir, would you like flat soled or cushioned shoes?”, he asked.
“Cushioned,” I said, inwardly thinking to myself that if I wanted flat soled shoes, I might as well get those wooden khataus with the little peg between the Big and Index Toe. On the plus side, I could conceivably communicate using Morse code with those wooden shoes.
“Gel?”
My reverie on heroically surviving a kidnapping with my superior Morse code tapping shoes was broken.
